you guys were way drunker than both of me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
