all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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