The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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