dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
