Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
