I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
