how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
