I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize