No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
