i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You are the jesus of drinking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
