i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bring me that man meat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
