So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
