The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
