He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
