areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Vodka?
Forever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
