I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
