its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
