Sry I called you an 8
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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