somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
