i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
