it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
