I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
