This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
