I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
