ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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