White coat. Heels.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
