Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
