dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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