I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So squirting runs in the family.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
