At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
