You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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