he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
