no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They took my balls.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
