she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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