batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I will pee on everything he values.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
