i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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