Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
