pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
