when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize