And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
