Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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