It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
