I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
tell me about the fingering
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