Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
