I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
