Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
a search helicopter?!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
