it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
