is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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