I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
