Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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