I heard we made out
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just had sex on a roof
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
